Blogopmaak
Everybody Needs Somebody: An ode to kindness.
Chinello Ifebigh
Sometimes all you need is just one person.
‘What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,
I will try not to sing out of key…..’
~ Joe Cocker
For many people, for many reasons, this year has been a challenging one. I, for my part have had my share of challenges and then some. When I thought that things could not get worse, I discovered that no matter how low you go, there is always an unexplored basement. I lost a lot this year. I discovered that I am not as strong as I would like to be; and yet that I am stronger and more resilient than I could ever have imagined.
Along the way, I lost people. Some to death, others to irreconcilable differences. Both experiences equally painful. I lost much that seemed important. Things I assumed were vital aspects of my personhood: my definitions of success and well being. When- at the darkest moments, when it seemed that my reserves were depleted; when my hands, my head and my heart stood empty at last, and freed of all the noises of fear and ego; an open space came into existence. A space in which I could allow my self to receive. In retrospect, I can see now that this space was my first gift to myself. The first step on the journey back home.
From this perspective, I know that besides losing, I have also gained immeasurably this year. I have gained in ways that would have never been possible without this open space. Hence, my word of the year is Surrender.
I learned how to surrender to elements beyond my control. I learned how to surrender to the loving kindness of people around me. My kids, my loving partner, my family, my elderly neighbors who all kept me alive. I learned from people like my friend Ruth, who reminded me of the delights to be found in the Small, after the Big are out of the way. Even the plants in my garden, the trees, the frogs, beetles, spiders, earthworms, ants, butterflies and the bees; touched me in ways I cannot articulate. Nature conspired with all her children to reach me. I was shown a mercy; a universal, wordless kindness which I had become impervious to. A mercy which I would have been incapable perceiving, had I not experienced such loss.
Sometimes all you need is just one person.
One friend. One single person to show up for you in the tiniest of ways. One person who performs a single random act of kindness by which lo and behold; you are lifted up. And your heart swells and brims with humility, with radiance, with gratitude. I was lucky. I had more than one person. I am still reeling silently from all the loving which I was fortunate to receive in the most unexpected places. I am fuzzy soft with wonderment as to what on earth I did to deserve it all. I call to mind the beautiful lyrics of a simple yet profoundly powerful song from the movie The Sound of Music.
Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I was a miserable youth,
But somewhere in my youth, or childhood,
I must have done something good.
For here you are; standing there, loving me,
Whether or not, you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood,
I must have done something good.
If I were to name the one true thing in my life, at this moment, It would be this: The impossible was made possible. The unbearable bearable; the void became lush and replenished. Tender and trembling, filled with potential; all because someone cared enough to touch me. Because I was offered- and I accepted a little help from my friends.
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,
I will try not to sing out of key…..’
~ Joe Cocker
For many people, for many reasons, this year has been a challenging one. I, for my part have had my share of challenges and then some. When I thought that things could not get worse, I discovered that no matter how low you go, there is always an unexplored basement. I lost a lot this year. I discovered that I am not as strong as I would like to be; and yet that I am stronger and more resilient than I could ever have imagined.
Along the way, I lost people. Some to death, others to irreconcilable differences. Both experiences equally painful. I lost much that seemed important. Things I assumed were vital aspects of my personhood: my definitions of success and well being. When- at the darkest moments, when it seemed that my reserves were depleted; when my hands, my head and my heart stood empty at last, and freed of all the noises of fear and ego; an open space came into existence. A space in which I could allow my self to receive. In retrospect, I can see now that this space was my first gift to myself. The first step on the journey back home.
From this perspective, I know that besides losing, I have also gained immeasurably this year. I have gained in ways that would have never been possible without this open space. Hence, my word of the year is Surrender.
I learned how to surrender to elements beyond my control. I learned how to surrender to the loving kindness of people around me. My kids, my loving partner, my family, my elderly neighbors who all kept me alive. I learned from people like my friend Ruth, who reminded me of the delights to be found in the Small, after the Big are out of the way. Even the plants in my garden, the trees, the frogs, beetles, spiders, earthworms, ants, butterflies and the bees; touched me in ways I cannot articulate. Nature conspired with all her children to reach me. I was shown a mercy; a universal, wordless kindness which I had become impervious to. A mercy which I would have been incapable perceiving, had I not experienced such loss.
Sometimes all you need is just one person.
One friend. One single person to show up for you in the tiniest of ways. One person who performs a single random act of kindness by which lo and behold; you are lifted up. And your heart swells and brims with humility, with radiance, with gratitude. I was lucky. I had more than one person. I am still reeling silently from all the loving which I was fortunate to receive in the most unexpected places. I am fuzzy soft with wonderment as to what on earth I did to deserve it all. I call to mind the beautiful lyrics of a simple yet profoundly powerful song from the movie The Sound of Music.
Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I was a miserable youth,
But somewhere in my youth, or childhood,
I must have done something good.
For here you are; standing there, loving me,
Whether or not, you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood,
I must have done something good.
If I were to name the one true thing in my life, at this moment, It would be this: The impossible was made possible. The unbearable bearable; the void became lush and replenished. Tender and trembling, filled with potential; all because someone cared enough to touch me. Because I was offered- and I accepted a little help from my friends.
Lichaamsgerichte therapie in combinatie met gesprekstherapie: werken volgens het Triadic Model.
Haptonomie en knuffeltherapie twee vormen van lichaamsgerichte therapie om emotionele en fysieke blokkades op te heffen.
Bij knuffeltherapie zijn zowel cliënt als therapeut actieve deelnemers van het proces; ten bate van de cliënt. Je raakt aan en je wordt aangeraakt.
Liefdevolle aanraking maakt veel los bij mensen. Knuffeltherapie is jezelf aanvaarden en de ander ontmoeten zonder masker, zonder pantser. Het is zeer krachtig en kwetsbaar tegelijk.
Naast de behoefte aan praktische handvatten is er na een traumatische gebeurtenis ook veel behoefte aan troost. Je krijgt als slachtoffer wel veel nuttige informatie en ondersteuning maar weinig troost; daar zijn de reguliere hulpverleningsinstanties niet voor.
Ieder mens heeft behoefte aan genegenheid en erkenning. Over menselijkheid en huidhonger binnen de GGZ. Aanraking, een basisbehoefte.
Over omgangsvormen in een tijd van dickpics en online schandpalen.
Duurzaam werken: heerlijk verscholen tussen de bloemetjes en vogelenzang komen cliënt en knuffeltherapeute heerlijk tot rust.
Nee is ook een cadeau: Over eerlijk en integer communiceren voor jezelf en voor de ander.
Hoe is het zover gekomen dat we een ander nodig hebben om ons te leren hoe mens te zijn?
